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Mansory’s take on the new Defender is exactly how you imagine it to be

Complete with all the carbon fiber bits you can imagine

This is one Land Rover Defender that will never see rough terrain. PHOTO FROM MANSORY

Mansory has turned its attention to the new Land Rover Defender, and the result is exactly how you imagine it: hard to miss, covered in carbon fiber, and about as discreet as a pink elephant singing My Way in a China shop. But then, fans of the German company probably wouldn’t want it any other way.

Based on the 5.0-liter V8 version, the limited-production Defender Black Edition you see depicted here is probably aimed at Mansory clients who prefer something British over the equally subtle German or Italian offerings from the same tuning house. All of them also have a preference for designer tracksuits and gold jewelry. Probably.

Mansory offers design and performance packages for the popular SUV, but buyers will have to wave goodbye to most of the off-road capabilities the British brute is normally known for. On the power side, the firm is increasing the horse count by 125hp to 650hp (and a tidy 870Nm). That’s achieved by tweaking the powertrain and adding a new four-pipe sports exhaust.

Does it look like Bruce Wayne's SUV, or something that should have never been done? PHOTOS FROM MANSORY

As a result, this brick on wheels can now go from zero to 100km/h in a mere 4.7 seconds, and won’t stop accelerating until it hits 250km/h. In theory, you could probably still take it off-road, but would you really risk damaging the huge 24-inch rims? Never mind getting any grip on rocky roads with 295/30 rubber on each corner.

Nope, this four-door wardrobe with an engine at the front is meant to be driven around the city centers of places like Monaco, Nice or Munich. Spending its automotive life sprinting from one red light to the next while the (usually) male driver hopes to impress onlookers with his ability to repeatedly move his right foot down by a few millimeters.

Mansory builds show cars and look-at-me mobiles designed to rev their engines and be the center of attention in an Instagram-focused world where everyone wants to be noticed. You don’t achieve that by being subtle, and so the design of this brick is anything but understated.

We're not too sure if these do anything to improve the vehicle's aerodynamics. PHOTOS FROM MANSORY

At the front, the Defender sports a new grille that has been completely redesigned and now contains new air intakes as well. New LED fog lights illuminate the way in bad weather, and an additional set installed on the roof will help drivers who get lost between their favorite inner city café and home during late summer nights.

Naturally, pretty much all the new bodykit parts are made from carbon fiber, and that includes the huge new hood proudly sporting the company’s name at the front. A new rear spoiler and bronze accents round out the look that—at least by Mansory standards—is on the lower end of the outrageous scale.

Mansory never fails to make its cars look outrageously tacky. PHOTOS FROM MANSORY

As is customary with vehicles from Mansory, the interior can be customized to the wishes of the owner, with only the sky and the size of your wallet being limited to what’s possible. The show car is sporting a dark-gray Alcantara interior with orange accents that are complemented by even more carbon fiber bits and a new carbon leather sport steering wheel with integrated shift light for that added sporty feeling.

To make sure that absolutely nobody who ever rides in this thing misses the fact it’s made by Mansory, the name of the tuner has been added to the seatbelts, the headrests, and even the headliner, where it is illuminated as part of a sparkly display made up of hundreds of small LEDs. If this is your idea of four-wheeled fun, then head right this way to secure one of the 10 units to be produced.

Frank Schuengel

Frank is a German e-commerce executive who loves his wife, a Filipina, so much he decided to base himself in Manila. He has interesting thoughts on Philippine motoring. He writes the aptly named ‘Frankly’ column.