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The Brabus 700 is the Rolls-Royce for people bored of Rolls-Royce

For when you want your excessive luxury to go even faster

No other brand straddles the fine line of excess better than Brabus. PHOTO FROM BRABUS

The name Brabus is usually associated with modified Mercedes-Benz vehicles. We say usually because the famous German Chedeng customizer is now more and more branching out into other brands, and Brabus being Brabus, it doesn’t do things by half.

Meet the Brabus 700, a Rolls-Royce Ghost Series 2 limousine that underwent a Teutonic workout and beauty cure, with the result being a British gentleman dressed in a German leisure suit. Evidently aimed at people who find a stock Roller too boring and anything from Mansory too garish, this machine aims to strike a delicate balance and will probably appeal to customers who already have cars with the bold B in their fleet.

People will be confused to see a very loud and aggressive Rolls-Royce barrelling down the highway. PHOTO FROM BRABUS

No car from the Bottrop-based firm would be complete without an earth-shattering amount of power under its hood, and the 700 is no exception.

As is tradition at Brabus, the model number already gives away the number of horses at the driver’s disposal, but the increase in power is for once not achieved by ripping apart and rebuilding the whole twin-turbo V12. Instead, engineers used a gentler approach and simply upgraded the engine electronically to release an extra hundred-plus horsepower.

The result is a palace on wheels that can go from zero to 100km/h in a mere 4.6 seconds and develop 950Nm of torque. The fuel consumption is on the level of a small country, but in this league, who’s counting?

This has got to be the most carbon fiber ever used on a Roller. PHOTO FROM BRABUS

On the outside, the Brabus marketing department is hopeful that the car will create what it calls a “one-second-wow” factor. With that they probably mean it will take just one little peek at this machine for onlookers to go wow—and not that the wow lasts a mere second.

Not even hyper-rich people are bored that quickly as if they would merely glance across the giant 22-inch Monoblock M Shadow Chrome rims, miss the various bits of carbon fiber bolted to this land yacht, or overlook the new quad sports exhaust with carbon-fiber tailpipe trims.

The exhaust system features active sound management and can either let the V12 breathe and shout out its anger in sport mode or be as quiet as a British church mouse in “Coming Home” mode.

We're not so sure how the fine folks at Goodwood would feel about this interior. PHOTO FROM BRABUS

Much of what makes a Roller a Roller is down to the interior, and it speaks for the confidence levels of the Germans that they decided to challenge the finest British craftsmanship by simply ripping out the existing upholstery and replacing it with their own.

The show car features a porcelain-colored symphony of leather that Brabus calls a “masterpiece interior,” and we have to admit that it looks quite inviting.

Where other Ghosts have fine wood decorations, this car comes packed with more carbon fiber for that sporty touch, and two single seats with built-in ventilation in the back make sure Lord and Lady Poshington don’t get too sweaty should Jeeves decide to put his foot down.

If you've bought this, your pockets are probably deep enough to feed this thirsty beast in the first place. PHOTO FROM BRABUS

The Brabus 700 is another one of those cars where you never realized that there were customers for them, and we really sometimes wonder who the people are that look at a Rolls-Royce and go: “Nah, that’s too slow and not luxurious enough for me!”

Whoever they are, their Brabus sales agent will be happy to look after them, and the other person that will be delighted to see a 700 owner (or its chauffeur, of course) will be your local gas station attendant.

This barge does 3.61km/L in city driving, meaning frequent stops for high-octane dinosaur juice will be a must. As is a well-filled bank balance. The price of so much opulence? It’s €649,191 (P37.23 million), with German sales tax included. Want to buy it? Click here.

Frank Schuengel

Frank is a German e-commerce executive who loves his wife, a Filipina, so much he decided to base himself in Manila. He has interesting thoughts on Philippine motoring. He writes the aptly named ‘Frankly’ column.