The shenanigans that occur whenever you deal with the Land Transportation Office and its accredited institutions are nothing new. Just the mere fact that heaps of rubbish on wheels are even allowed on our roads isn’t really breaking news anymore. But some of the “magic” that happens within the agency’s walls simply defies common sense—so much so that they deserve some precious space on our website.

Take, for instance, the mandatory emissions test. Almost all of us have experienced having some dude shove a rusty probe up our car’s tailpipe. This is connected to a box of electronics that somehow manages to cough up a scorecard of how badly our car is making Mother Nature cry. Well, that’s the idea anyway.

Common sense will tell you that for the machine to get a reading, the car it is hooked up to must be producing emissions—meaning the engine must be running. Well, if some of the videos sent to us are anything to go by, it seems that the testing centers (authorized by the LTO, no less) can miraculously come up with a reading without the vehicle firing on all cylinders.

It’s hilarious and shocking at the same time because this is the very reason why our roads are teeming with public-utility rust buckets that spew sooty smoke, while racing to reach their next destination (or maim their passengers in the process). And it also makes sense why a lot of drivers and operators have given private motor vehicle inspection centers so much flak. With emission testing a part of the evaluation process, their derelict vehicles will have a hard time passing with flying colors.

There is scientific proof that the dirty air we breathe is making us dumb. And with the elections coming in the next few months, we all need less of the stupidity.