Why do we Filipinos drive the way we do? It doesn’t even matter whether it’s rush hour or a slow Sunday, you’re bound to encounter motorists who feel the need to cut and get ahead of as many cars as possible, leaving you on edge, right in the middle of belting out a power chorus from your favorite band. Turn on your signal light to change lanes and see what happens—the courtesy you can’t expect from other drivers to give you way. Successfully changing lanes only happens by a stroke of luck, and a prayer for good timing. If you’re even luckier, you’ll encounter a motorist actually slowing down to let you swerve in. But shouldn’t this be the default case?

In bottleneck scenarios, the me-first attitude dominates instead of the proper habit of taking turns in giving way. Throw in the motorcycles, even the pedestrians who tread every possible blind spot—and we now have the perfect storm.

The daily drive poses so many questions. Do drivers know any courtesy around motorbikes or bicycles, and vice versa?

Do traffic enforcers even know how to drive? Sometimes they hold out their hands for cars to stop so dangerously abrupt that a chain of collisions can occur from right behind.

Sonder means the realization that every random person you encounter is living a life as colorful, as complicated, and as real as your own

The roads here are where you will find either an abuse of power or an abuse of poverty, where VIPs believe power and self-importance will excuse them from the law. Conversely, abuse of poverty where lowliness gives them a pass for not having the means to pay the price—whether with money, time or otherwise—for disobeying the law, destroying property and inconveniencing others, or even injuring fellow road users. Never mind the occasional law enforcer who takes advantage of his position, compromising a motorist’s trust and confidence.

Okay, enough of the rant.

I recently came across the term “sonder.” As poetic as it sounds, the meaning is even more graceful. It means the realization that every random person you encounter is living a life as colorful, as complicated, and as real as your own. Acknowledging this should bring into our consciousness how interconnected we all actually are. However, from what we witness on the road day in and day out, this is hardly the case.

But maybe understanding this word might teach us all to stretch our patience, even for just a little bit more. It helps to know that each motorist, passenger, or pedestrian we come across is having the same kind of day as ours—maybe even worse—while keeping in mind it’s actually not a competition. We are all the same, living different timelines, just tying to make it through.

Perhaps when we collectively grasp the concept that none of us are the main characters on the road and that we can’t demand that everybody else get out of our way, we’d be able to diminish the tragically massive disconnect among us on the road.